( This is a story about healing processing from my injury)
After Sound Bath at night on February 11th. It was so beautiful night and my energy was pumped up from our beautiful and gentle/powerful night. Holding space gives me extra energy sometimes. I feel so connected and feel beauty of my work. I feel so grateful and thankful
Then happened
I twisted ankle When I carried big crystal bowls on the street. Load out from taxi. I heard cracked sounds.When I fell on to the street. I thought my crystal bowls broken…( my bowl was not injured) It was so much pain right away. I couldn’t move for while I was sitting on the street then my neighbor was helping me. only I can think about pain. My left leg was hard to move. For second. My brain wasn’t register what happened.
My healing (ankle) journey started. I experimented myself as I have some knowledge for healing. And I love trying to new technics, learning and documenting. How my mental, feels, moods has been changing during this processing. (I went to see doctor. Then I was boosting healing processing my own.)
Day 1
I was carefully monitored my body and mind. Then I set up for my first priority to healingmy feet. It was painful physically but my mind was stable and good.until doctor said “ you have bone fracture” agh! my left ankle is freezed and not able to move. Every move I have to use my whole body to little steps.( for protecting my ankle) Every move I was so carefully to move. Every move It was so hard. I was like three legs animals.Moving like a baby at home:) I was craving proteins so much. and still holding shock in my body.I listened my body. I followed my instinct. I felt so vulnerable and tender. My body was screaming from pain. then I said “ I’m so sorry” to my body. End of day I passed out. long sleep. I slept so long.
Day 2
My feet swelled and turned color blue and purple. I feel something weight on me. It’s very heavy. And pain. I have cartoon feet now:) But surprisingly my mental is stable.my body released moment of shock When I got injured. I think I’m adapting myself what happened.
Universe is talking to me. “ you need rest Mariko”
No reiki for bone fracture so I place my hand to not injured part. I felt many heat in my feet and felt strong energy. I ate meet, drunk milk. Sleeping a lot. That’s my body need it. Food is helping to processing healing.
Day 3
My whole body is sore. Moving around whole body without not using left leg was intense.When I put on little weight to left leg was like shocking! Sharp pain like a lighting bolt to my feet!!! My right side of body is screaming for in imbalance walk. I felt stupid. Blamed myself. I had bad day:(
Day 4
First day of in-person reiki session. I thought I wasn’t ready for session physically but I listened my heart. Talked to me said yes! Somehow my animal sense was so opened during physical healing processing. My ears so open for listing. I feel more energy surrounding me.I don’t know because of I’m vulnerable? I feel connected to the earth.( because I’m laying down a lot? lol)
Then session went really well and my client said that “ This time of sessions was I ever had powerful session before” It is interesting to hear that . When some of my body part is not functioning well. Some of my part is more opening. interesting. Also I’m carefully listing my body. and every move I’m aware makes me more intuitively open up?
Day 5
I went orthopedics for deep check up. My Doc said “ It’s going to be complete healing to you feet 2month” I felt so disappointed. I was hoping to heal more faster. And I ‘m able to walk like used be soon. Two month is too long. But It’s not Body is working so hard and heal is not does happened so quickly. I knew it but I didn’t want to face to reality. I need to have a lot of patient.
Fortunately My Doctor was perfectly adjust my crutches! I was like wow! Fit like a part of my body parts. And so happy to walk around hallway for test walking. Full of smiles:) and walking faster like almost running. Then Doctor said “ Hey Mariko don’t walk like that keep it slow!”
I said “ Yes, Doctor”
Day 6 ~12
Walking with crushes is not fun. My arm gets hurt and tired. I have to walk very slow. When It’s raining. I felt dangerous and I started to thinking about second injured. Nooooo! I’m saying myself “ be patient” as a mantra.I annoyed myself I can’t walk faster. I get so frustrated these days. I know each day getting better. But my leg feet like other person’s leg. So disconnected to my body.They forgot how to walk. I still have big bruises looks like zombie. Ahhhh…
I’m treating left feet like a little baby. Poor my feet. Need more love, need deep healing. Not only feet. I need to heal my heart, too.
Day 13
I got off crutches quickly and started walk as own feet. Like baby steps. Street in NYC is so bad. so many bumps , gaps and trash. I can’t image someone in wheel chair or someone has prosthetic legs. It is so hard to walk NYC who’s injured.
Many elders with cane. They are talking to me. “ Where is your cane?” “ you need cane!” But I didn’t want use them.because If I use cane I’m going to demanding them. And I need to training my feet. I use my core muscle and arms to balance like surfing or dancing.When I was walking on the street. Haha!
Day 14~20
I started to go physical therapy.now my pain moves to my lower back. I was walking imbalanced and too much weight on my right side of body. I felt imbalance. Not only physical. My mind also need to be balance. One injured cause other part of body’s pain and makes us fragile. Yes, body and mind need to be balance. Limited move with my body. No riding bike. No dancing. No jumping. I feel I want to do it! psychological reactance…limited freedom makes me more wanna do it. My feet is forgot to how to walk. Need more extra patient and gentle move to left feet:) Frustrated, vulnerable, feeling useless, and happy (When I see progress of healing) etc…
Giving reiki to my whole body except injured part everyday since I got injured Also I started to use tuning folks!! I love it! Healing vibrations to my feet was powerful and I felt these frequencies going to so so deep to my tissue. I’m praying to universe to “ Please, Please, healing faster!”
Day 21~present
Each day I can walk more. Each day my feet is getting more flexible.It is so amazing to feel on ground. I feel grounded. Each steps I feel energy from ground. Each steps I feel. I’ve never walk like with this feel. I was so amazed How human body is healing each day. I witnessed with my own body. Each day more moving. Each day more flexible. I’m so happy I can walk again! My left feet was connected again to my body.
Thank you and so much gratitude. Who has been helping me cheering me up. And sending love and care. I’m so grateful. THANK YOUUUUU!!!
I’m walking again still not running but I will:)
